


With You I Could Want Impossible Things

by penthea



Series: SRWOWW-verse [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: College, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penthea/pseuds/penthea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A prequel to Set Right What Once Went Wrong.</p><p>Dave is in college, Puck is...around. There's a roommate with a thing for geeks, anger management, video games, a lot of time in the gym, and the occasional moment of daring to want something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dave never got to say goodbye to Noah Puckerman. It seemed to be some kind of rule.  
  
When he left McKinley, he didn't really say goodbye to anyone except the ones he met on the way out. It didn't seem right to make a big deal out of leaving when the whole point of leaving was to be a lot less of a public spectacle in the future.  
  
He just disappeared. It wasn't until after he'd left that he thought to wonder if he'd have to stop calling now, and noticed that he'd already done that months before.  
  
He met them at games sometimes, after everything, and he said hi and asked what was up and got some kind of answer back. The kind of conversation that ends with "Yeah, well, see you around, man."  
  
He never knew when it might be the last time.  
  
At graduation, he stood on the grass, hands in his pockets as people hugged around him. There were a couple awkward ones for him as well, people he'd gotten to know over his senior year, but none of these people actually mattered to him the way people do who have grown up together. The way that makes them a part of you just because they've been there for all your childhood and you for theirs, even if you might not like each other or really talk anymore.  
  
People like Azimio. Finn Hudson. Noah Puckerman.  
  
He didn't get any graduation hugs with them. If someone asked him when was the last time he saw Puck, he could perhaps have given them a six month timeframe.  
  
So he didn't know exactly how long it had been, when Puck found him sitting in a bar in Columbus, nursing a bottle of beer and failing at conversation. He was there with a boy from one of his classes, and apparently all they really had in common, besides taking the same gen. ed. requirement, was being gay and not very good at talking about it.  
  
"Hey, Karofsky!"  
  
It was a good time to be interrupted, but when Puck called out, he still ducked his head instinctively.  
  
He turned to look. And there he was, mohawk-less, but otherwise mostly unchanged. Noah Puckerman. A little older, maybe. Not physically, really, he’d already looked twenty in high school, but in the way he carried himself.  
  
Dave forced himself to smile at him. “Puck! Wow, it’s been a long time. Chris, this is Noah Puckerman, we went to high school together.”  
  
“Hi, Noah. Or do you prefer Puck? It’s very nice to meet you.”  
  
Chris was looking at Puck with undisguised interest. Dave hadn’t really allowed himself to consider that, because he was pretty sure nothing good ever came from lusting over your straight teammates. Which probably meant he’d given up his right to be mad that Chris was hitting on  his old friend, but that didn’t stop him from feeling it.  
  
And Puck was straight, anyway, so if Chris wanted to waste his time, he could go right ahead, as far as Dave was concerned.  
  
Puck raised his eyebrows and turned to Chris, looking him up and down with those smouldering hazel eyes. “It’s nice to meet you too, Chris. So tell me, how do you know Dave? And please, if you two are on a date, you’d better tell me right now. I remember Karofsky here used to throw a mean punch.”  
  
Okay, so Puck had always been an outrageous flirt and unflinching attention whore. It wasn’t impossible that he’d enjoy playing along with guys who hit on him. He’d have to be getting used to it by now. Because, come on, look at him.  
  
Chris giggled. Dave hated him. He was boring and stupid and beautiful and Dave had no idea why he’d ever agreed to go anywhere with him. “Oh, don’t worry. Dave and I are definitely just friends. Right, Dave?”  
  
Dave had an irrational urge to introduce Chris to the Dave Karofsky who’d named his fist the Fury and didn’t need a whole lot of reason to use it.  
  
He shrugged. “Sure, he’s available, knock yourself out.”  
  
If he’d expected Puck to take him up on it, he’d never have said it. He sat there for another half hour, watching them banter and undress each other with their stupidly gorgeous eyes and thinking about how he wasn’t sure which one of them deserved the other more. Puck was an asshole for leading Chris on and Chris was an asshole for monopolizing Dave’s friend and they could both go fuck themselves.   
  
Themselves. Not each other. It was getting increasingly hard to remember that Puck couldn’t actually be interested, that he was doing this purely for the ego boost or maybe just for the hell of it. When he couldn’t take it anymore, Dave mumbled an excuse about homework and left. The other two were so absorbed they barely noticed.   
  
It dawned on him as he was walking home that he hadn’t gotten Puck’s phone number, and he’d probably have to get it from Chris if he wanted it. He couldn’t imagine ever asking, though. Especially not after Chris showed up two days later, claiming to have gone home with Puck that night. It didn’t really matter if he’d been lying or not, Dave was pissed about it either way. They didn’t hang out again outside of class, and he didn’t see Puck again for another few weeks.  
  
Not while he was awake, anyway.  
  
*****  
  
The next time they met was at the university gym, during one of the insanely crowded times when you couldn’t turn around without hitting some poor clueless person.  
  
Puck just walked up to him and asked to work in, simple as that, as if he hadn’t ignored Dave in favor of some guy he’d never met before, or laid around flexing half naked in his dreams. Well, to be fair to Puck, he didn’t know about the last part, and Dave preferred keeping it that way, so he’d forgive that. But still.  
  
Of course he’d never say no, to anyone, actually, but especially not to Puck, so he nodded and stepped away from the bar. “Do you want to take some plates off for the first set?”  
  
It wasn’t meant as an insult, it was just basic etiquette and common sense, but Puck, being Puck, seemed to hear a challenge. “No, man, this is fine.”  
  
Okay, then. If he wanted a spot he could damn well ask for it. It wasn’t Dave’s problem if Puck wanted to injure himself. If he’d tried to interfere every time someone did something stupid, he’d never get a workout done.  
  
To his surprise, Puck really was fine. Dave probably should have remembered from back in high school that he was good at this. The thing was, he looked so much like all the other guys who walked around sneaking admiring looks at their own arms and chests, he’d forgotten. On second look, Puck obviously didn’t focus on the bench press to the exclusion of all other lifts, either. He had nice legs, and shoulders. Well, good for him. His rotator cuffs would thank him in a couple of years.  
  
Puck finished his set, not making any more noise than was actually necessary, even bothering to lower the bar carefully, rather than dropping it for the maximum amount of impressive sound.  
He sat up and looked at Dave. “How about you? Want some more weight on this? I’ll spot you.”  
  
Dave never, ever sacrificed form to push big numbers. He definitely didn’t care more about impressing guys than he did about following his program. He looked at Puck. “Yeah, okay. Another twenty on each side.”  
  
Puck found a free 20 pound plate and loaded it on without comment. Dave did the same on the other side. “You should probably put some collars on this,” Puck suggested. Dave shrugged. “Feel free, if you can find any. I think something eats them.”  
  
“No, it’s fine, I’m sure I can bail you out.”  
  
He probably could, and Dave wasn’t really worried anyway, but he smiled a little at the thought that Puck cared, both about weight lifting safety and about him.  
  
As it turned out, Puck didn’t need to do anything except stand there, and neither did Dave when Puck declined to take anything off for his next set. He struggled a little on the last rep, though. Dave tried really hard not to feel satisfied about that. Puck didn’t seem to care, he got up as cheerfully as ever and grinned at Dave. “Two-fifty?”  
  
Dave couldn’t help grinning back. “Sure, why not. I have a good spotter.”  
  
Puck was the first to fold, at 260 pounds, which was still a very respectable number. Maybe those arms weren’t just for decoration after all.  
  
Dave remembered Puck in high school, eating all the waffles he could get his hands on, with syrup on them. Not just for their pancake breakfast fundraiser, though he had broken all the records soundly, but every time Dave had a chance to watch him. And he’d been cut back then, too.   
  
Dave wanted to think there was some justice in the world, that guys who looked like Puck paid for it by obsessing over carbs and supplements. For sure their diets made them weaker than they could have been. Dave wanted power more than he wanted to look like some guy from a fitness magazine, so dehydrated he’d need help getting off the stage.  
  
But then there was Puck, falsifying all his theories. Grinning at him over a mountain of pancakes, the veins along his biceps standing out. Because of course he’d taken off his shirt to eat pancakes.  
  
Dave wondered if he still did that.  
  
“So, what classes are you taking?”, he asked, in an attempt to get his brain back on a safer track.  
  
The grin vanished from Puck’s face. He ran a hand over his shaved head, and for a short second he looked small and lost. Then he put on his usual smirk and relaxed.  
  
“Oh, I’m not a student. Maintenance staff get to use the gym, too.”  
  
Dave had no idea what to say. On one hand, he thought he’d made the right wrong assumption. On the other, he’d seen a flash of another Noah Puckerman, one who looked like he was actually bothered or even ashamed.  
  
And then he was gone. “It’s a pretty good job. Great benefits.”  
  
Dave nodded. “Okay, good. I mean, that’s awesome.”  
  
He didn’t like leaving right after that, like Puck wasn’t good enough to hang out with now that Dave knew, but he’d already stayed longer than he really had time for.  
  
“So, this has been great, but I have a class in about fifteen minutes and I really need to shower first, even if it is Human Kinetics.”  
  
Puck might have looked suspicious, but there was no way to reassure him it wasn’t an excuse without making it sound even more like one.  
  
“But maybe we can work out together again sometime? I’m here almost every day.”  
  
“Sure. See you around, dude.” Puck turned around and walked towards the bench pull.  
  
The ache in his chest made no sense at all, so Dave shook it off and went to change.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The next day was a Wednesday. Counseling appointment day.   
  
He kind of wanted to talk about meeting Puck. He was pretty sure that counted as some kind of triggering situation. If only he could figure out  what it had triggered, or why, or identify a single one of his thoughts or emotions. So instead, they talked about the classmate he’d almost punched in the face last week. That could probably do with some processing as well, so it wasn’t a complete waste of his time.  
  
He was still on edge for the rest of the day. He ate dinner, refusing to think about anything but the food in front of him, and went back to his dorm to try to do some homework.   
  
He’d just gotten started on the math when his phone rang. He didn’t really want to answer it, or worry about what anyone might want from him. He picked it up. Unknown number. Probably a telemarketer or a poll or something. He was ready to turn them down with ruthless efficiency, when he heard a familiar voice on the other end.  
  
“Hey, Dave? Uh, this is Puck.”  
  
Shit. Where had Puck gotten his number from?  
  
“Oh. Hi. What’s up?”  
  
“So, listen, this is really last minute and you probably have plans tonight, but if you don’t, there’s this thing I wanted to go to. And I was wondering if you’d like to come.”  
  
Dave looked around his room and down at himself. Yeah, still Dave Karofsky, favored candidate for phys.ed program least eligible gay bachelor. Possibly the only candidate, actually. All the gay guys who didn’t suck at life were over in Fitness Development getting ready to open their own gyms or something.  
  
Guys didn’t call Dave and ask him to go to anything. The height of his social life was when Ryan bothered to walk down the hallway to ask if he was up for shooting some zombies.  
  
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go out. But he didn’t know who to ask or where he’d go or if there was anywhere he’d even be welcome.  
  
He was way too excited. He ought to say no. He couldn’t. But he’d at least try to sound a little nonchalant about it.  
  
“Oh. No, I don’t have plans. What kind of place is this?”  
  
“It’s called the Pine, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it?”  
  
He had. It wasn’t the kind of place he imagined guys like him going to. Or guys like Puck, really, but then he’d never cared much about things like that, had he?  
  
“Yeah. Sure, I’ll come. It’s the one down on Fifth Avenue, right? I could probably walk. Or ride my bike, or something. Want me to meet you there, or what?”  
  
He thought he could hear Puck’s grin through the phone, which made no sense, but then none of this made any sense, so he would just not think about it.  
  
“That’d be great. It starts at eight, so I’ll probably be there before that, but you can just show up whenever.”  
  
“Yeah, okay. So around eight. See you there.”  
  
“Cool, dude.”  
  
He hung up. Dave held the phone in his hand for a while, staring at it and wondering what had just happened.  
  
Just on principle, he wanted to finish this problem set before he started getting ready. Because this was no big deal. It was just a guy he knew from high school asking him to come along to hear some music. So what if it felt kind of important. It wasn’t a date or anything. He didn’t even know if he liked Puck that way, and he still wasn’t totally convinced that he was even interested in guys. And even if he were, why would he be interested in Dave? Anyway, he thought the feeling in his stomach might have as much to do with what he was doing, and where he was going, as it had to do with Puck. It felt like the start of something.  
  
He put down his pen. He was done with all but one problem, that would have to do. Dave went to look for a clean shirt, and was trying to choose between the black and the blue when Tony, his roommate, opened the door. They weren’t really friends, even after living together since the start of the semester. He did know that Tony was a political science major, a former age-group swimming star who’d decided against competing in college, and a whole lot cooler than Dave.   
  
Also, Tony was gay. And he didn’t know about Dave also being gay, or at least if he did he was too polite to mention it. Because Tony had shared that piece of information the day they first met, in the company of quite a few people Dave didn’t know, like it was no bigger deal than being from South Bend, Indiana. Dave had felt his throat close up and barely managed to choke out an “okay”. Tony probably thought he was some sort of homophobe with just enough decency to keep it to himself. Dave had spent hours regretting that moment, as he uncomfortably avoided Tony and tried to talk around the elephant in the room. “Oh, me too.” How hard was that? If he could only have managed those three words two months ago, he could have saved himself so much trouble. And now the moment had passed, like when you didn’t know someone’s name but you’d been talking to them for so long it would be really awkward to ask.  
  
Anyway, Tony entered the room and saw Dave standing there with a t-shirt in each hand, and because he wasn’t stupid, he immediately knew what the situation was.  
  
“Hey, Dave, what’s going on? You got a date or something?”  
  
Dave blushed. To make it worse, he’d taken his old shirt off, so he wasn’t even dressed. He quickly pulled on the blue one. It would have to do.  
  
“Huh? No, nothing like that. Just going out. With a friend.”  
  
“Yeah, sure. What’s her name?”  
  
He blushed even harder.   
  
“His. It’s a guy.” And oh God, could he be more of an idiot?  That line had so obviously escaped from a totally different conversation, one he really hadn’t planned to be having right now.  
  
Tony took a long, considering look at him. It felt like it burned.  
  
“Really. So what’s  his name, then?” Tony was so relaxed about all this. As if going out with a guy was something you could just talk about, anywhere. But then - wasn’t it supposed to be?  
  
“His name is Puck. Not - that’s not his real first name, but...anyway, he - I mean, he’s just a guy from high school. I’m not even sure he dates guys.”  Even if there was some evidence that he might at least be interested.  
  
Tony’s eyebrows rose a little bit more, but he was grinning. “You do realize that you just implied that you do?” Just light enough to still be possible to play off as a joke.  
  
Dave deflated. He didn’t think he’d meant to say that, but maybe he had, maybe it was his subconscious pushing him to do it, because he really really wanted to. He sighed.  
  
“Yeah. I do. Or, you know, I would, if I dated? Look, I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you before, but when I didn’t right away...it never seemed like a good time.”  
  
Tony laughed. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad we’ve finally got that out in the open.” He sat down on Dave’s bed with a thump and a grin. “So, this Puck guy. Is he hot?”  
  
Dave laughed with him, because he’d done it and it was okay and Tony hadn’t thrown him out of the room for lying to him or being a coward or not being good enough to play for his team.  
  
He considered it. “Yeah. God, he...he really, really is.”  
  
Tony smiled. “And you think he might be interested?”  
  
Dave put his hands on his head and sighed. “I don’t know. No. Maybe. He probably just wants to be friends.”  
  
He didn’t think Tony was laughing at him, exactly, it was more of a “been there” sort of thing. It felt good, actually. “Well, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I think you should wear the black shirt, just in case. It makes your arms look great.”  
  
Wait - Tony thought - when had he even noticed that? Had he  remembered ? Whatever. Dave pulled the blue shirt over his head and replaced it with the black one. “Better?”  
  
He didn’t know what to do with the look he got in return. He was pretty sure Tony hadn’t looked at him like that before, but then he wouldn’t, as long as he thought Dave was straight and kind of uncomfortable with the whole gay thing. “Yeah. Damn. Go get him.” Tony punched him lightly on the shoulder.  
  
“Yeah, sure.” Dave picked up his wallet and left.   
  
***  
  
It was dark and loud, but not really enough to make him forget himself. Puck was at the bar talking to a couple of guys that normally Dave would shrink away from, feeling like they could see right through him and tell how much he wanted what they had, except he didn’t really respect what they were enough to try. But it was Puck, so he walked up behind them and said hi anyway.  
  
Puck reached across between them to touch him, a hand on Dave’s arm somewhere between his elbow and the edge of his shirt, and if you’d asked him later he would have said that was the moment,  that was the second I dropped off the edge and I didn’t even know it , but of course that was bullshit, he could have turned back for a long time after that.  
  
But Puck’s warm hands really were electric and his eyes were sparkling, and he was flirting with Dave and ignoring his friends (if that was what they were, Dave didn’t know anymore), and he made Dave want to drink, so they did, probably too much, until he didn’t know he was awkward anymore and nothing mattered except stumbling into Puck’s warm, strong arms in the dark and being held there between his heartbeat and the shockwaves of the drums.  
  
He yelled into Puck’s ears how much he loved him, how everything was fine and beautiful and  this is awesome, man , knowing all the while that it had to end, that he had to be some kind of item on Puck’s checklist of things to do, he might be running out of genres to explore, after MILFs and lesbians and strippers and chubby girls and singers and geeks and boys, he’d looked at Dave and thought,  there’s something I haven’t tried, a chubby geeky jock with anger management issues . And the beautiful thing about tonight was that it didn’t even hurt, because nothing hurt and Puck was the most beautiful of all.  
  
  
  
***  
  
And in the end nothing happened, he went home alone and went to bed quietly, and then lay there in the dark grinning at the roof until he fell asleep.  
  
The next morning, he woke up to the light, dry, barely-there touches of his roommate throwing bits of paper at his naked chest and watching them bounce off. He lay there for a while wondering what to do about it before he’d even acknowledge that he was awake. “The hell are you doing,” he grunted.  
  
Tony grinned down at him with what had to be an unhealthy amount of energy for that early. “Dude, it’s Thursday, remember?” They’d stumbled around each other trying to make it on time enough Thursday mornings to know that part of the each other’s schedules. “Unhg,” Dave replied, trying to see the time on his phone without using more muscles than absolutely necessary. “I set my alarm, my alarm didn’t go off yet.”  
  
“No, I know.” Tony picked a piece of paper off the bed next to him, only so he could throw it again. “But I knew you’d want to tell me all about your hot date before you leave, so I decided to do you a favor and wake you up early.”  
  
Dave turned over and buried his face in his pillow. “Not a date,” he said, but the sound was obviously muffled. A piece of paper landed on his back and stayed there. He sighed and sat up. The alarm would go off in a few minutes anyway.  
  
“So? How was it?”  
  
Dave didn’t answer, but apparently something showed on his face.  
  
“Oh, so it’s like that.” Tony shook his head. “I’m not even going to ask right now, because this is going to take way more than five minutes, and then I’ll be late, and I’ll have to sit in the back next to the spitting thermos guy, and that’s just not okay. Good luck, man.” He got up and headed for the bathroom, leaving Dave to stare at his back and try to make sense of the world. It didn’t work, so he rolled out of bed instead and started picking up books and clothes in no particular order. If he wanted to go to the gym he should probably pack a bag now, no time to go back for it. He thought maybe that was what he needed to feel a little less awful. And maybe... _no. ____Shoes, shirt, shorts, water bottle. Don’t think about it_.   
  
He even made it to class on time.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Dave mostly wanted to collapse on the bed, but he'd been trained into always taking his workout clothes out of the bag right away. You only had to smell that once to remember. Okay, maybe three times. But he'd learned.

Tony looked up from the book he was reading.

“So, Dave. I think you were going to tell me about last night?”

Right. It was probably too much to hope for that he'd forgotten about that. Not that Dave didn't want to tell him, exactly. He just had no idea where to start, or if it would seem small and stupid once he put it into words.

“Hello?” Oh, there was a hand in front of his face. He blinked. “Earth to Karofsky, come in please?” Dave tried to make Tony's face come into focus.

“Yeah. Uh.”

Tony laughed. “You've got it bad, don't you. Or do you want to tell me this is just your usual state in the afternoon?”

“Long day?” Dave smiled a little in spite of himself, and Tony grinned back.

“All right, I know you're not a big talker, but I'm going to get you through this. Where did you go?”

“The Pine.”

“Oh, it's two word answer day today.” Dave felt kind of embarrassed, but Tony didn't seem to be sarcastic in a bad way, and he didn't mind the interrogation as much as he thought he maybe should. “So, we've established that you went to the Pine with a guy named Puck that you know from high school, who's really really hot and maybe, possibly interested in guys. Did I miss anything?”

“No.” Dave shook his head, but then he heard himself, and had to laugh. “God. Okay. So his name is Noah Puckerman, but everybody called him Puck, since, I don't know, as long as I've known him. We weren't really friends in highschool, but we were on the football team together for a while...he used to have this awful mohawk, and sleep with everything that moved, or at least he wanted us to think so? Mostly older women, but, I don't know. I was sure he was straight until he tried to pick up my date, but he might have done that just to piss me off.” He shrugged.

“Dave Karofsky.” Tony jumped up and crossed the room, sitting down next to Dave and putting a freakishly long arm around his shoulders. “I thought you'd be more interesting than you seemed, but this is better than I dared to hope for.” Dave froze a little. He'd tried to be okay with people touching him again, he kind of had to if he was going to be on a team, but he wasn't quite there yet. Maybe Tony sensed his discomfort, or maybe not, but at least he dropped his arm and moved a few feet further down the bed, pulling one foot up under him and turning towards Dave.

“So, now that you're actually talking, I've been wondering about that guy...Ryan? The one you're always playing terribly violent shooting games with?”

Dave looked at him. Why would he be asking Dave about other people, like he would know anything Tony didn't? Though, unlike most people, Ryan did always seem to come by their room to talk to Dave. “Yeah, what about him? I thought you knew everyone in this building.”

“No, I don't. I like talking to people, but for some reason the geeks are all afraid of me. It's sad.”

“What, you secretly love comic books and video games? You laughed at my superhero collection.”

Tony smiled. It almost looked shy. “Not...exactly.”

Oh. No, that couldn't be right. Though Ryan was kind of cute, in a geeky way. If you liked that sort of thing. “Are you serious?”

The smile grew into an embarrassed grin. “Yeah. Now you know my terrible secret. My name is Tony, and I have a thing for really smart math guys with glasses. And I can't hit on them, because they're always convinced I must be playing some kind of cruel joke.”

Dave nodded. “That's a real tragedy. I'm pretty sure Ryan's straight, though.”

“You sure? Because I kind of think he's not, he's just not quite ready to know it yet. You've told him about you, right?”

“Yeah. He doesn't have a problem with it, but he seemed really uncomfortable.”

“See, I think that's a sign that I'm right.” Tony leaned forward on one hand, waving the other in the air. “I'm sure you had that one guy in high school too, right? Or even before that. The one who made you really, really uncomfortable because he was out at fourteen, or everyone could just tell?”

“Yeah.” And god, Dave was not ready to go into that story, but Tony didn't seem to notice.

“Anyway, my point is it's a different kind of awkward, and I think that's what your cute gamer friend is exhibiting.”

Dave laughed, maybe mostly with relief. “Yeah, sure. I still say wishful thinking, but you can come along and shoot things with us next time, if you want?”

“Great.” Tony bounced off the bed. “I'm starving. Want to go find something awfully unhealthy to eat, or did you take too many fitness and nutrition classes for that?”

For one short moment, Dave wondered if that was some kind of veiled comment on his weight, but he shook it off. Either way, he wouldn't want to admit thinking it, and he really didn't care. “No, I'm ready for pizza. Let's go.”

***

“How much time do you actually need to spend in the water to do that to your hair?”

Tony laughed and ran his hand through it again, not even trying to make it do anything other than what it wanted to. “I have no idea. I'd say it was permanent by now, but biology class has taught me better, so... It used to be a badge of honor, you know? The drier your hair, the more hours you'd spent in the pool. And now it just looks like a wig.” He shrugged. “Hey, do you swim at all?”

“Not really? I mean, I can do it, but not like a real swimmer. Not competitively. I'm thinking about taking a class, actually. I might like it more than running if I could figure out how to breathe and stuff.”

“I could teach you.”

“Really?”

“Sure. I may not be planning to be a coach, but I did compete for almost ten years, I'm sure I could help. And I'm there four days a week anyway, burning off all that pizza. You could come with me tomorrow, and after I'm done with my laps I could show you some basic technique? Like breathing and stuff.”

Dave agreed, and the next day, instead of packing his usual gym bag he found some shorts that might be acceptable swimwear, if you weren't going to pretend to really know how to swim.

He got to the pool, and he decidedly did not feel anxious about any of this. It was cardio. Good as any other. He changed into the shorts and took a towel and a water bottle with him so it would feel more like a workout. Tony was probably in the pool already, but it was almost impossible to tell which of the bobbing heads might be his. Dave stood around on the edge for a while, wondering where to go and which lane to pick, when he saw a familiar figure on the other side of the pool.

Puck was obviously at work, not here for fun, he was wearing shorts and a polo shirt and carrying something that Dave had no idea what was. He looked...like he belonged, but in a way that made Dave's chest hurt a little. He looked down. Puck hadn't seen him yet, or at least he hadn't shown any sign of it. Dave hesitated. Should he jump in the pool? Wave? Stand around a while longer, waiting to be found, by either one of them? He felt absurdly naked in his shorts, but a shirt would have just made it worse.

“Dave!” Tony's head appeared over the edge of the pool. He was wearing a shiny blue cap on his head and was holding a pair of goggles in his hand. “You're here!”

He smiled awkwardly, and gestured at the water. “Yeah. Um, should we go in this lane here, or...you guys seem kind of fast.” Dave looked up. Puck was walking in his direction around the pool, looking and poking at...something. He still hadn't noticed Dave, who consciously turned his head back to Tony. “Let's start over there,” he answered easily, ducking under the lane markers as Dave walked in the direction he'd pointed. Puck was still poking. That shirt looked good on him. Was that a bad thought? Some kind of messed up idea of a pool boy fantasy. Dave had heard the stories, back in high school, and it made him a little sick to think about. He felt dirty, not knowing exactly how to explain why, but it was something to do with how back in Lima he'd never wanted anyone to know he was actually good at math.

He walked over to where Tony was hanging on the edge of the pool. Puck kept getting closer, but he still hadn't noticed him...or he was pretending not to? No, he wouldn't. Puck didn't do things like that, did he? Dave shook his head and jumped in the pool. Did you do that? He should probably have found a more dignified way to get in, but, too late. It was kind of cold. He forced himself to focus on Tony. It was nice of him to do this, and Dave really wanted to get to know him better...and if he felt a little uncomfortable, well, when didn't he.

They worked on swimming technique for a while, and Dave got to the point where he could breathe and kick, or kick and use his arms, or breathe and use his arms, but not all three. Tony said he should go for breathing and arms, so he did that, and his legs did something behind him that probably helped, even if it wasn't very effective. His eyes stung, and he couldn't really see anything, so Tony lent him his goggles for a while. It made a huge difference. Everything was so clear down there. And he could see the end of the pool before he almost banged his head on the tiles. He should probably get a pair for himself, if he was planning to do this again.

Dave told himself he wasn't thinking about Puck, wasn't wondering if he was still there, he was focusing on the cool water and the black line at the bottom of the pool and coordinating his breathing. But every time he lifted his head to turn around (he didn't think he was ready for any fancy underwater turns yet), and every time he stopped to rest at the end of the pool while Tony gave him some more probably too advanced advice -- he was looking for him. “I think we're done,” Tony told him, and Dave tried hard not to feel like he'd overstayed his welcome or like he'd let him down by letting his focus slip. “Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Thanks, this was great.” He definitely didn't look in the direction where he'd last seen Puck. There was no hint of a red shirt or a shaved head, though. “It was fun,” Tony said, grinning. “I'm still not planning to be a coach, but...you got pretty good towards the end there. I just think you should stop while it's still fun, you know? I've spent too many years working way past that point.”

Dave nodded. He didn't usually think about Tony as an athlete, he was such an easy-going guy that it was hard to remember that he'd probably spent most of his childhood dreaming about the Olympics. And Dave didn't have any experience with that kind of thing, anyway. The closest he probably got was the Cheerios, but those girls had still been normal. Kind of. He smiled, thinking about Santana and how they'd had a brief few months of a strange sort of honesty. He hadn't really kept in touch with her as much as he'd like to, but it was always good when they did talk. They'd worked together, despite the blackmail and both of their anger issues, even if they were obviously a terrible couple. Maybe he could send her a message later, ask what she was up to. Tell her about meeting Puck.

He climbed out of the pool and walked over to get his water bottle, and he really wasn't even looking for Puck anymore, but there he was, right in front of him and impossible to ignore. And that would be weird anyway, considering the night they'd had. Wouldn't it? It seemed like it might be easier to just not acknowledge it at all, leaving it as a different place, different time, nothing to do with us right now thing.

Puck didn't seem to be thinking that much about it. “Hey, Dave!”, he said, grinning. “I didn't know you were a swimmer.” Dave shook his head. “I'm really not. My roommate is, though. He brought me. I haven't done this in years.”

“Dude. You can come here any time, and you haven't been yet?” Puck seemed almost offended that he hadn't taken advantage of this awesome pool. Dave shrugged. “I guess I'm not that much of a swimmer? I mostly lift weights.”

Puck seemed to be looking at him. Dave struggled hard not to hide behind the towel.

“Yeah.” Puck looked down. “We could do that again sometime, maybe?”

Dave nodded. “Yeah, that would be great. I usually go every day except Wednesdays? Around the time you found me the last time.” Wow, that was smooth. But he could even seem to remember what time that might be, because Puck was looking at him, and it was impossible not to remember too many other things.

Puck kept looking, his head tilted slightly to the side as if he was considering something. “You know,” he said, “I'm going to go get a coffee later, when I'm done here.” He glanced at the big clock on the wall, and then looked down at himself. “In about half an hour, I guess? I need to change.”

Dave smiled. Puck could wear his pool-maintenance clothes and half the girls and a good chunk of the guys in the coffee shop would still be staring, but, okay, he could see why he wanted to. “Sure. I guess I should check with my roommate,” but, yeah.” He gestured towards the showers where he was pretty sure Tony had gone on ahead of him. Of course, speak of the devil, he chose that moment to stick his head back out. “Dave? You coming or not? -- oh.” The last bit was far too loud for Puck not to have heard, and Dave didn't know if he was more embarrassed of amused. Puck just grinned wider, though. “That's the roommate?”

“Yeah. Puck, this is Tony, Tony, Puck.”

“No way, that's...” Dave glared at him, and Tony demonstratively closed his mouth and rolled his eyes, probably making it worse, because Puck had turned around and it was hard to miss the look of Wow, he's hot. Good job, man on Tony's face. It was a look that would probably be more natural on Puck, actually. He'd do that earnest yet completely dirty thing with his eyebrows, and...wake up, Dave, they're talking to you.

“Yeah, okay. Nice to meet you, Tony. So...mind if I take Dave here for a cup of coffee? He thought he should ask you.”

Dave groaned. Puck and Tony grinned at each other. “Absolutely not.”

***

“So whatever happened to you moving to California?”

Dave had no excuse for asking that. He might blame desperation and awkwardness, running out of small talk and, very soon, coffee, but really, what was he thinking? He of all people should know better than to go poking at broken dreams.

Puck sort of looked up, half smiled, and said, “Whatever happened to you playing football?”

Dave picked on the edge of his paper cup. “They let me back on the team.” That was not an answer, except it completely was, it just wouldn't make sense to anyone else. Maybe Puck would let it go. He knew the story. Everybody from back home did. It might never be spoken of, but they knew, which was a lot of the reason why he didn't talk to any of them any more. Except, apparently, Puck.

“So why didn't you stay? You were good, you could have walked on, at least.”

Dave snorted. “Yeah, sure. I was good.”

Puck didn't even say anything, he just did that thing with his face, and maybe it might have worked on some of the more gullible teachers and housewives of Lima, but Dave was pretty sure it was only because they wanted to believe.

“Come on, you're not that stupid.” Shit, he probably shouldn't have said that, Puck might actually think he was. But why wouldn't anybody just say it? It was so fucking annoying to have to always mumble something about motivation and classes and not being that good, when the truth was so very simple. “They knew, and they couldn't say it, because sure, it sounds like a good story... but nobody actually wants...gay suicide kid, or whatever.”

“No.” Puck shrugged. “Okay, I get it. ”

“Yeah, too much risk.” He crumpled his cup in one hand. It wasn't quite empty. “Shit.”

Dave shook off a few drops of coffee and wiped the rest on his pants, smiling like he was sorry about his manners -- and he was, but mostly he was happy to have the excuse to move and get a bit of this ridiculous wave of adrenaline out of his body. Puck had barely reacted, but Dave was shaking and feeling like he might throw up. He didn't think it showed too much. He wiped his hand again. So what if it was already dry.

His cup was lying in the middle of the table, crumpled and picked apart in a puddle of coffee. The three girls at the table next to them seemed to be looking their way, but he had no idea what they might be thinking. They were probably just looking at Puck. Dave took his small, useless napkin and dropped it on the mess. The coffee soaked through it right away. It looked awful.

Puck snorted, then took his own little napkin and placed it on top of Dave's.

He didn't say anything, but his satisfied grin was so perfectly Puck that Dave had to smile back. “Anyway,” he began, trying hard not to stare too much at Puck's arms. He must be lifting them over his head like that on purpose. No way he didn't know what it looked like. The question was, who was he doing it for? The girls? Him? Someone behind his back? Just the world in general, maybe. It made the muscles of his upper arms stand out and his shoulders look even wider. “Anyway, it turned out okay. I wouldn't have been happy on the football team, you know? Physical education is enough sports for me, and I don't have to deal with the whole student athlete thing.” He glanced at Puck.

He still didn't seem offended. “Yeah. That's the good thing about being just the pool guy, nobody really cares what I do.”

Dave couldn't imagine what that would be like. To be free, no expectations, just doing what he wanted to do and no worrying about disappointing anyone. To be fair, probably mostly because everyone was disappointed already. But still. “That sounds kind of nice.”

“Fuck you, Karofsky.” Puck sounded like he was mostly teasing, but still -- what? “Just because I'm not in school, I'm not worth worrying about?”

“Really? Come on, I went to the same high school you did. How many of our friends from back there do you think are in college right now?”

“Only...all of them, except me?”

Dave let out a bitter little laugh. “Right. Maybe of the glee people, that's true, but the ones who played football with us, the real Lima losers? Retail jobs, if they're lucky.” He didn't mean that to sound like there was anything wrong with them, and by extension, Puck. Lots of those guys were great. Some of them weren't. But it was sad, and he didn't see why he should deny it, if they were talking about depressing stories.

"Yeah, I guess."

They were both quiet for a moment.

"You ever talk to Santana anymore?", Dave asked. Old friends were a safe topic, and she was one of a few they had in common.

Puck looked surprised. "Not really, no...I guess I still got a rude birthday text this year, but that's it. Do you?"

"Sometimes. She's in college, you know? I didn't really see that coming, but she's taking all these economics classes. Says she finally realized where the real power is. It's kind of scary."

"I bet, but I'm glad she figured that out. I even tried to tell her, you know? You can use the boobs, but you need to have a business plan, too. If you're going to sell yourself, at least sell yourself, right? Don't just be cheap meat for the guys in suits to make money." Puck shrugged. "And since you asked about California... I decided I was done with that. This is a job you can get without good abs, and that's kind of awesome." He looked down, as if to check if his were still there, then back up, smirking. "Even if I do have them."

Dave laughed. “Yeah. So it's not a work requirement, but want to come to the gym tomorrow anyway?”

“Sure. Same time?”

He nodded and stood up, sweeping the mess of paper and coffee from the table. “Yeah, around four? I should get going, but see you then.”

***

Puck didn't show, and Dave set a new personal best with some random guy for a spotter. In the shower, his arms shook when he tried to wash his hair. More force fixed that, though, and he walked home too fast to feel really dizzy.

Dave stopped by his room, opened the door (it felt heavy), put his bag on his bed and emptied it out (slowly, painfully), and said hi to Tony, and kept moving because if he stopped, he might not get up for a while. He walked down the hall and knocked on Ryan's door. “Hey,” he said, “I feel like killing some monsters today. You in?”

He was. Ryan was easy, and quiet company, kind of like things used to be with his friends a long time ago before it all got complicated. Before he had to try so hard. They picked a game and were about to get started when there was a knock on the door and a tall figure sticking his head inside without waiting for an answer.

“I thought you might be here,” Tony said. “I was going to ask if you're still coming for dinner later, but...hey, Ryan.” Ryan was staring at Tony, not exactly scared yet but definitely prepared to be, but he managed a barely audible “hi”.

Dave looked at him, wondering if he should feel guilty about this. “I, um, might have told Tony he could join us some time”, he admitted. “Even if he's not very good.”

Ryan startled and looked up. “Oh. No, I mean, that's fine. Come on in?” he said, and pointed out a free seat. Tony grinned and sat down. “Thanks. It's true, I'm terrible, but...well. I thought it might be fun to try anyway. Maybe you can show me some good tricks.” Ryan nodded mutely.

“Awesome,” Tony continued, and turned on the couch, somehow moving closer to Ryan in the process. Dave raised his eyebrows at him, trying to signal dude, slow down, he's going to be terrified, but really he knew it was useless. He shook his head and smiled. They'd figure it out.

They played a couple of rounds, and Tony lost all of them. He was jumping restlessly around as much as was possible while still technically sitting, and trying to be friendly to Ryan, who retreated further and further into his corner. Dave felt bad for them, but there wasn't much he could do except watch and make an occasional comment. Eventually Ryan stopped responding even to him, though, and Tony apparently decided to give up for the day. He bounced off the couch, told them cheerfully that he was leaving the games to the people who didn't suck, and left.

“One more round?” Dave asked, and Ryan nodded. “He's really not so bad,” Dave said, looking at the door Tony just left through, and Ryan nodded again, but didn't say anything. Then the monsters on the screen attacked, and they played with quiet focus for a while, only muttering curses when they got hit or a satisfied yes when they didn't.

Ryan got the final strike that won the level for them. “Yeah, that's it!” Dave said, giving his shoulder a friendly push. “Leave some for me next time.” Ryan grinned. “Please, I couldn't have done that if you hadn't been watching my back.” They leaned back, breathing, almost like they'd actually been in a fight and not just playing.

After a few more seconds of silence, Ryan turned to Dave. “So. Um. Your roommate.”

Dave nodded. “What about him?” Ryan looked uncomfortable, but Dave wasn't sure if what was coming was what's wrong with him or can you keep him from showing up the next time or was he really hitting on me and how do I make it stop?, so he thought it was better to wait it out.

“Are you guys...I mean, he's...you're just friends, right?” Ryan looked down at his hands, then embarrassedly back up at Dave. Dave laughed. Okay, he hadn't expected that one. “Yeah. He's a great guy and everything, but, god, no. Definitely just friends.”

“Okay, yeah.” Ryan fiddled with his controller, but made no move to suggest they start playing again. “I just thought, since he...I guess I thought I should ask.”

“No, it's okay.” Dave studied him. Since the first awkward conversation when Dave came out to him, and Ryan's side of that had been limited to “oh” and “okay”, he had completely avoided the subject. Of course he would know about Tony, everybody did, but he'd never mentioned it. Dave had to admit he was curious. And maybe that Tony's theory, even if he didn't believe in it, was still there in the back of his mind.

“If he...we, make you uncomfortable, just tell me, I'll get him to back off,” he offered, because no matter why, it was a lot to ask of Ryan to be completely relaxed about hanging out with them.

“No. It's not that.” Ryan shook his head. “It's just...I never asked you anything, like, are you dating anyone? And maybe I should have.”

“No. I mean, I'm not. So there wouldn't be a lot to tell.” Puck didn't count. That was not a date. “And, I never exactly asked you, either.”

Ryan half smiled. “Same here. Not a lot to tell.”


End file.
